I Never Knew You Could Do That

As I'm laying here in my bed, watching a movie, checking my fb, absorbing heat on my shoulder which is painfully sore after a long week of manual labor, I'm thinking about choices. Yea...we all make them, every day. But sometimes you wonder if you make the right one.

Some of the choices I've made, I'm 100% sure of. Take for instance, my wife - 100%. Making the move to NM - 100%. Not moving to Midland a couple of years ago - 100%. Following Christ - 100%. Picking a Chevy over a Ford - 100%!

But I make choices everyday that make me question myself...like if I should eat out or save $$, if I should sleep in or get up early, you know, those crazy little decisions you make that don't seem to matter. You see, I'm a perfectionist, so I tend to question EVERYTHING...it drives my wife crazy...because I like to analyze everything.

I've made lots of bad choices in life. Obviously, not gonna mention most of them here, but I've made a few. I bought Ford trucks when I was young...and I learned. I tried to eat a Super Monster Burrito from Freebirds...and I learned...and I learned...and learned until there wasn't much more learning to do. I lied to my mother, and felt guilty, and had to tell her. I took something that wasn't mine once, only to return it with extreme embarrassment. I turned my back on a friend and it's never been the same. Over the course of 36 years, I've made some bad choices...some I have learned hard lessons and moved on, while others still sit around and remind me.

Tonight, my almost 7 year old son and I decided to go and play some basketball. He will turn 7 on Monday and I'm in disbelief. I know that all parents say that about their kid, but really, he's on his way to being a teenager. I found out a few things in that hour that I tried to teach Caed some things about basketball. First of all, I'm way out of shape. I was having a hard time going to 20 and hoping Caed would win fast. I decided that it would be good for us to run a couple of laps too, which made it even worse. By the end of the time, he was crying (because he couldn't breathe) and I was trying to catch my breath well enough to teach him how to hold his hands above his head so he could breath better. While we were playing basketball, he said something rather profound. You see, I'm not a great or even good basketball player, but when you're a dad to a an almost 7 year old, even the small things seem big. I was doing a couple of tricks with the ball and then I shot it all crazy like and it went in. Out of his mouth come the words "Dad, I never knew you could do that". Hopefully I'll hear those words many times in the future, but tonight they kinda dug in a little...and hurt. The reason he never knew I could do it, was because we had never spent time playing basketball together...and I when that hit me, it did hurt. I get so pre-occupied with my schedule and to-do list that I have missed out on seven years of "I didn't know you could do that!"

Good news is this...tonight I made a good choice. I chose to hang out with my son. Early in the day, I had a decision making dilemma. I felt guilty for not attending a school event that one of our students was a part of. I had thought we should go all day, but in the back of my mind, I had also promised Caed that we would play basketball. Do I feel guilty now? Not at all. I hate that I can't be at all places at all times and that I miss lots of things for others...but I've missed a lot of growing up with my son and I pray that God gives me the wisdom to continue to make the right choice!

Maybe tomorrow, I can impress him with my whittling skills...and I'll hear him say "I never knew you could do that!"

Re-Post from Facebook

My wife asked me to put this on here...just a little behind the scenes...that Wednesday, we had a handful of kids attend another church after attending at First for the past two years...it was disheartening...although, it's made me take deeper looks into my own ministry...i'll provide further explanation in the near future...the title of my status that provoked this long post was something like "frustrated with church culture in Artesia"...

My status last night was maybe a little too honest. I've been asked to explain, so here it is briefly...or maybe not so briefly...actually rather lengthy...

A couple of years ago we had a guy here at church who was pretty progressive in his thoughts. I don't remember his name, just remember that I really liked hearing him speak and his view on church and our culture. One of the statements he made related to our upcoming generations and their lack of "brand loyalty". His statement related to the fact that we can expect kids to walk away from brands, organizations, etc and that they don't feel like they owe any loyalty to, even sometimes organizations that have made huge investments in them.

You can see this trend among our student generations, yet they seem to stay loyal to certain things in their lives. I remember when I use to be really particular about the brand of clothing that I wore. I mean, I wore A&F before high school students even knew it existed (A&F used to be a "college" fad only). Teens are loyal to Hollister, Chuck Taylors,, etc...mainly because they are the "in" thing at the moment...I know that part of it is getting older as I really don't care what "brand" I wear (I'm wearing a shirt from Walmart right now), I just want it to be comfortable, nice, yet functional!

We often have debates here in our office about whether Ford (yuck) or Chevy (yep) is the best. There's always the question about whether Oklahoma (get real), New Mexico (I have to be nice), or Texas (you just can't deny it) is the best. As my good friend, Scott Gray, put it so politically correct - I'm a New Texian! At the end of the day, none of that really matters. I drive a Chevy because I want to and like it. But I'm not gonna die for it. I'm 100% Texan living in a giant mission field of New Mexico - but I'm not gonna offend my new mexican brothers and sisters by wearing a big Texas flag T-Shirt or being overly offense and wear the shirts that says "New Mexico - Pretty much the same as the old one" - yes there is a shirt like that and if you need to know, I'll tell you who owns it!
At the end of the day, I have preferences, but those don't change who I am deep down.

In our community culture of Artesia, there is a deep sense of pride. That pride is both good and bad. I love being able to meet other youth guys from the state and have them say "did you win another state championship" and to let it well up inside me to say "just got #26 and our quarterback just signed with Oklahoma!" It's great to be a part of a community that was put on the ESPN short list of "titletown usa". I love to use the phrase, city of champions, and encourage our students to be champions for christ! I talk to people all the time who are passing through and comment on the beautiful revitalized downtown area! It's great to be a part of Artesia, USA!

On the other hand, I do meet a few people that remind me...Artesia...you can smell it from miles away (it's true that once you live here you become desensitized to it :-)!) When I moved here almost 7 years ago, it was the promise land for me. I was in a tough situation at a small church in amarillo, and the grass was certainly greener on the other side of the fence (maybe from all those cows!). I remember some of my old students - people like G. Eric Kaiser, Chris Martin, Brandon Horner, Klint Bratcher and others who accepted me into this tight-knit culture and probably laughed at me as I adjusted to life in a small town. It was in one of those first few meetings that Chris Martin revealed to me that we have over 50 churches right here in this small town community. 50 CHURCHES - R U SERIOUS - IN A TOWN OF 12,000 PEOPLE? We often joke about that's how 2nd Baptist Churches in America got started...because some of the people didn't agree and split and started another one (I've even heard of 3rd Baptist Churches!!). Now, I know that alot of that is because we have different denominations and yes, I do believe there are lots of differences that could keep us from being united, but come on - 50 churches in the city of champions? I'll tell you what it told me when I first heard that - it seems like even in this fun-loving progressive town, we have some people that just can't get along in their spiritual oneness. I mean they can go work together, do booster club together, heck, they even make an incredible church choir together (3:16 choir is awesome). But at the end of the day, we have chosen to separate all of that from our spiritual lives and we run to different cubby holes on Sundays and Wednesdays to get fed. We choose to ignore our spiritual differences when we work together to help build main street, when we support the soccer team or band, or when we unite for a once a year praise project. But at the end of the day, if we are honest, we are very separated and mainly because of our preferences.

There are things I don't agree with concerning other denominations...yet as I search my soul, there are some things about my own denomination that I don't necessarily agree with. At the end of the day, I choose to be Baptist. But, I'm pretty sure that when we get to heaven there is going to be some form of dancing - yet even without a baptist deacon in the corner pointing that finger at people for doing naughty things. Heck, those deacons will probably be the best dancers since they have deprived themselves for so long! I'm almost certain there will be guitars and even drums and they'll have some good ole Church of Christ people leading worship - WITH GUITARS AND DRUMS. Mary might be a little sad since some of those statues of her were shattered when Catholics realized that Jesus was the only way to God. Although at the end of the day, I'm sure Mary's heart will echo the cry of most of us who are trying to do everything we can to transfer any glory that would be given to us to the one it truly belongs to - Jesus. I have a little brand loyalty left in me - many of you know the influence that Louie Giglio has had on me and my ministry. In one of Louie's best sermons he related that Jesus is REALLY like the sun (the big fiery ball of gas that lights our planet). And we are SO MUCH like the moon. Some people look up say "Look at the big ball of dirt"...and yep, our lives are similar...messy, filled with lots of potholes of mistakes, preferences, confusion, bad choices, misspoken words and regrets. If we aren't careful, we'll lose sight of our calling and we'll consider our lives or circumstances as one messed up, big ball of dirt. Or maybe we'll have a deeper sense of our purpose and calling in life, that we, are much like the moon. Our job is simply this: Reflect The Light of The Son. We live in a dark world, searching for truth and light, yet we have been given a "covering" that's primary purpose is to reflect the light and truth of God to this dark world.

The most frustrating thing in ministry (10 out of 10 ministers will agree) is to see a loss on your investment. To see one (or 10 or 20) of the sheep you have been trying to care for cross the pasture for what appears to be better grass. You know...you can go to school for a long time to learn how to be a shepherd, how to care for your flock, what the current trends, are etc...or you can jump in and do the "best that you know how with what you've got". I admit (and some have lovingly and not so lovingly shared with me) that I've got a lot to learn on being a shepherd. I've made a few mistakes along the way, life has thrown a few distractions my way and I've become preoccupied in my own life that I've missed a few moments with my sheep, only to look up and see them walk across that fence. Yea, I could have made that phone call, or could have stayed up all night on myspace posting self serving comments to all 186 of them that came through our doors last year...AND BEFORE I GET ANY OTHER CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIQUE'S, I know that I could have done more - so you don't have to "gently" remind me. But while some watch from afar and wonder what this shepherd is doing or if he should really be a shepherd at all, let me "gently" remind you of a couple of things that this shepherd is pretty confident of...

1. As a shepherd, I'm learning, and I'm changing, to be the best shepherd I can be...even when it means being a little loud and crazy to get their attention so that in that moment of need they'll know who to turn to. Ask a few of the sheep around here if they don't see it, but remember that you might have to ask some of the sheep that aren't on the varsity line up! Sometimes being a shepherd means you have to clean up the poop - and lots of it!

2. My frustration has to do more with the grown sheep...the ones who teach the little sheep that's it's ok to wander from pasture to pasture in search of green grass...these grown sheep that would see it as the highest form of betrayal for a Bulldog to become a Caveman, but yet will whisper in the young ear of the sheep...let's go find another place to graze spiritually.

3. At the end of the day, THERE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE SHEPHERD that can better care for a babe, than the ones that have created it - we often forget that all of us are SHEPHERDS to our own flock and that we are accountable for what we teach our babes.

4. Some SHEPHERDS like to work together, to accomplish more, to teach their sheep more and maybe even to let their black sheep hang out with the other SHEPHERD'S white sheep (no racism, just figuratively) so they can learn from each other...while...some SHEPHERDS work really hard at building their own little pasture, even at the expense of somebody's else's flock.

At the end of this (if you have read this far), you might be thinking this thought "James must have a person/people in mind as he writes this". Not really. It's more of rant against a false mindset that I see so prevalent around me. It says this, (I'm almost done). Lose brand loyalty when it comes to church. It's ok to be legalistic about remaining a bulldog, but it's ok if you float from one FBC to another FBC (yes I'm talking about First and Faith), but just so none of you feel left out - it's ok if you float from FBC to HDCOC, or COG, or HF, WMBC, or FUMC (sorry Scott - my sheep are entrusted to you anytime (REALLY). Do I blame the students - No. Do I blame myself - Yea, I could do lot's more. But the adults in our culture need to take seriously their roles as adults, to set a standard, to be the LEADER in life. We need dads who take seriously their roles as lead shepherds in their families - to say to the young sheep...eat this, it's good for you rather than offering them the candy of choice and leisure. We need moms who will RISE up and demand accountability from their young sheep, who will be PILLARS of FAITH and not wet noodles of cover up. We need MORE SERVANTS FOR JESUS rather than a CREW of self serving wanna-bes. I say this and I'm done (if you want more, we'll go grab a coke). Let's all be REAL shepherds together - that means some need to take their wolf masks off and remember who they belong to (ouch) - that some need to realize i'm 40 years old and have got to quit acting like i'm 15 (ouch) - that it's more important to teach our sheep to feed themselves than to find them a nanny that they might like better (ouch) - that WE need to be the REAL people that all of our students want to see - THE REAL US - REALLY MESSED UP, GREY DIRT LOOKING, CRATER FILLED, YELLOW GRASS EATING, MY WORD IS MY BOND type of people who although they have much to learn...they have one goal...TO REFLECT THE EVERLASTING GLORY OF THE ONE TRUE LIGHT!!!

Am I frustrated with church culture in Artesia (and most other american towns) - you bet! Let's be real, quit creating competition and SERVE JESUS so everyone will really know who WE ARE!

On my way home

I'm laying in one of the back seats of a church van typing on my iPhone. I found a program that will link to my blog. See you all later!

Another Year

Well, today is the day, my 36th birthday!  While it's exciting to celebrate your birthday, it's also a reminder that you aren't young anymore...and that's hard to take sometimes.  But, you can also figure it like this - If I live to be 90, I'm not even 1/2 way yet, so here's to living to 90+ and enjoying the possibility that I'm not as old as it seems.

I spend my birthday today in Dallas - one of my favorite places in all the world...only because it's big and offers lots of things to do - like great places to eat!  For lunch, Penny and I joined Shu, Nat, and Kent at Chuy's - home of the world's best fajitas!!

 

After that, Penny and I visited the Apple store and a few others.  We also took an adventure into a nice wealthy neighborhood called Preston Hollow.  This is where President George W. Bush has purchased a home.  I joked with Penny about how it would be cool if they just happened to be in town today.  After wondering around, I put the address into my Garmin GPS.  I had driven just a "few" blocks too far.  We made our way back in what might be one of the nicest neighborhoods I've ever been in.  We came to the end of a street where the GPS told us to turn right.  We turned and noted that the street we were looking for was just a couple of blocks.  As we got closer, we were sad to see that the Dallas Police had the street blocked.  I told Penny (jokingly) - see I told you they were gonna be in town today - we laughed, drove on thinking that the neighbors were tired of weirdos like us wanting to get a view of the house.

After that, we saw a movie, drove around and shopped a little and decided to go grab dinner at my favorite restaurant ever...P.F. Changs.

  

It was really really good tonight...after dinner, we grabbed a few things from the grocery store and came back to the hotel.  I turned on the tv and flipped channels, landing on the local news.  A few moments had passed when they began talking about Laura Bush being in town today at their new home, checking up on the progress.  So I was right...mabye George wasn't here, but Laura was - thus the reason for the street being closed...I wish we would have driven through there anyway...we were in the church van, what did we have to lose!!!

Now I sit here, ready to go to bed, typing away about random things.  It's been a good day!  I pray that we are in store for a great year...one that will be remembered forever!

I'm trying to get into the posting mode, to post more often...it's coming slowly...

have a great day...hope your year is off to a great start too!!!